The "Therapist Friend"

 Hello and welcome back everyone!

HAPPY 100TH POST!!

A lot of us may have come across the term "Therapist Friend" of a group.
The stereotypical description of the same would look something like this:

The quiet, calm, cool and collected one with the best advise whom anyone can approach for the minutest of inconveniences. A good listener is the basic trait possessed by them. 

However, the fact still lies that most people misuse the term 'Therapist Friend.'

A few months ago, I had authored a post titled 'Facebook Therapy Memes' which led to this topic. 
    It was also suggested by a reader of my blogs and I found it to be extremely insightful considering it's high misuse, so I decided to throw a bit of limelight on the same.

Without further ado, let's get to it.

The phrase 'Therapist Friend', I believe, is a wrong term. 
This is simply just my opinion but let me justify why.

There is a significant mixing up of the term 'Friend' and a 'Therapist.'

A friend is a person you share a mutual bond with. You have similar interests and are there by each other's sides through thick and thin. 
A therapist is a professional who helps you get past a certain experience and help you become a better person.
The mix-up lies here that people tend to make their friends their therapist.
Venting and Ranting to an extend is okay- that's what friends are for.
However, when you start looking for traits that a professional could help you with and use your friend to be a that person, that's where it goes wrong.

People simply just "dump" their feelings onto the other person and expect to get an answer like a therapist would give- unbiased and advisory.
Friends can tell you what you want to hear just to keep you happy and avoid conflict. They can also  give advice based on their own experiences, which some therapists prefer not to do but rely on their educational learnings for. 
The expectation you should always listen to, and in some cases literally fix, extremely complex emotional issues and traumas that require genuine professional help simply showcases that individuals are dumping their personal responsibilities and stress onto another person.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't speak to our friends or just internalize all our very real pain. I'm saying we need to think, be more mindful and stop pretending it's normal for one friend to carry the emotional weight for all their friends simply because they can “give good advice.”
For all you know, they could have their own emotional baggage and your situation could be adding to it.

Set Boundaries.

Know when and what to share and with whom you're sharing. 
There might be things you're more comfortable disclosing to a friend and some which you are more to a professional.
But be mindful of the fact that you cannot have these be the same person.

That was it for today's post! Hope I could clear out some doubts about the same.
Don't forget to share and comment for more! Thank you so so much for the lovely past 100 weeks of my journey :)
Stay tuned for a surprise really soon!

Signing off,

Kuhu :)